how to raise great kids

How to raise great kids – You are Your Childs Best Curriculum how to raise great kids

How to raise great kids – You are Your Childs Best Curriculum

ALL, HEALTHY MAMMA, MAMMA GOALS

How to raise great kids? Now that is a difficult question

Ever met a great mom and thought, ‘wow, she’s so lucky, she’s just a natural at parenting’? Every time I imagine what a great Mumma looks like I think of an ex boyfriends Mum, Ramone. Ramone was stylish, loving, warm, fun and exuded energy and zest for life. She was the centre of her family’s world and she had a knack of always making you feel like the most amazing person in the world. My favourite part of the day was when we would get to sit together, sip hot lemon and water and chat about the day. I always felt loved and wanted with each sip. What impressed me most about Ramone was as much as she was there for her family, she was also there for her own goals and dreams. She took care of herself and believed in her value. 

Sounds like super woman doesn’t she? 

While pregnant, I would often wonder what she was like when she first became a Mum. Was she always great, or did she, like all of us start figuring out the parenting game day by day? 

I believe running the race of parenthood is how you learn and grow and ultimately become a great parent. It’s in the daily practice of parenting do you become more natural at it.

‘She’s such a great mum’… What does that mean?

I hear people often say, “she’s such a great Mum’, but what does that actually mean? 

Raising great kids and being a great parenting comes down to a few key factors, 

  1. Are you whole and happy in yourself so you can allow your child to be their own expression?
  2. Are you living your values and looking at ways to improve yourself so you can be present for your child (and more importantly for yourself)?
  3. Are you shedding ego so you can freely love and support your child? 
  4. Are you providing opportunities for your child to know who they are and what matters to them?
  5. Are you learning from your life experiences so you can lead authentically and honestly? 
  6. Are you living in such a way that you’re teaching them excellent living?

How to raise great kids

You see, I believe the way to raise great kids is by living in such a way that your life becomes the best curriculum your child has for living a wildly happy and successful life. 

Let me give you an example, just say you want your child to be super healthy. You want them to eat all their vegetables, stay away from junk food and live an active lifestyle, however, you sit around all day watching television, snacking on junk food and drinking soda while yelling at your kids to eat their vegetables. It doesn’t work

If you want your child to have the best opportunity to live a healthy life, you need to lead by example and live a healthy life yourself. Your child will do what you demonstrate and from the age of 0-7 they are like little sponges taking in everything you do, feel and say. 

Thats a lot of pressure… or is it?

At first this might feel like a lot of pressure, where you must get everything right and have your shizzle figured out right now. The truth is life doesn’t work that way. If you are making progress to include more of what you love and believe is great living and letting go of anything that doesn’t support your vision, already you will be doing a great job. Kids don’t need perfect parents, they need happy, fulfilled and ever-growing parents. 

Don’t get me wrong, not for a second am I suggesting you give up on all the baby development programs and activities. I love a Montessori manipulative like the next Mum, but I do believe you have to start with you first if any of these outer strategies are going to make a difference. Your baby spends their entire life with you, so it makes sense you get clear on what you want your life to teach

Parenting 1001: How to get started

Although I believe parenting is very instinctual and you need to trust your heart and gut when it comes to your baby, I love the idea parenting is also a skill you can learn. I love reading ideas and theories on conscious parenting as it takes the pressure off and provides confidence. As with all parenting theories, I believe the below ideas are great if they work for you (and if they don’t, throw them out and keep being your badass self) 

If you want great parenting advice, start with yourself and your own life as they have all the answers you need.

How to raise great kids – the 9 categories of living

There are 9 major categories when it comes to great living 

  1. Health and Wellbeing 
  2. Career, Mission and Passion 
  3. Growth and Learning 
  4. Love, Relationships and Friendships
  5. Inner Game
  6. Finance and Wealth
  7. Contribution and Corporate Citizenship 
  8. God and Spirituality 
  9. Fun and Life Experiences / Home and Happiness

These nine areas are jumping off points for you to figure out what is most important firstly to yourself, then your child and your family.

It all starts with intention

Step 1: Look at each category and dream. Imagine if you and your family were living your best life. What would it look, feel and be like? How would you be showing up for yourself, your family and your broader community? What would you be feeling? What would make it magical? Don’t sensor yourself, write down exactly what you would want it to be life

(disclaimer: step 1 is all about intention, not expectation. If you do this exercise with the attitude you have to achieve what you write down no matter what and your child needs to fit into a perfectly formed mould, then sadly you have missed the point. Notice the questions were not ‘what does your child have to do so you can be healthy? Nor does it ask for perfection. I believe parenting isnt about forcing our children to become who we believe they ‘should’ be, its about providing them opportunities for great living and exploring what they love and enjoy. I also believe, as per the title of this blog, the way we live is the best teaching tool for our children. We need to lead and encourage, rather than force and dictate) 

Don’t let baby brain get in the way, review and retain

Step 2: Each day review, visualise and feel your visions for each category and pick 1-3 categories you are going to live for the day. Remember, this isnt about being perfect, its about giving yourself the gift of living your best like. For instance, you might pick health and well being, Inner game and fun and life experience. For the day you might go for a walk, drink a green smoothie, practice gratitude and accept compliments and go to the beach and play in the sand with your baby. 

During those activities, you might go for the walk with your baby in the pram, prepare the smoothie with your child’s help and let them drink it with you, speak gratitude out loud and ask your baby what they are grateful for and laugh with your child. By you including them in your practices, you teach them how to live health and wellbeing, inner game and fun life experiences. 

How to raise a great kids really involves raising your own standard for your life

Stay present and conscious

Step 3: stay present and conscious: The reason its suggested to each day review and then act is so you stay conscious to what you need for the day and for what’s happening in your life. Going to the beach is great, provided the sun is shining and you have a beach nearby. Maybe it might be raining, and you need to come up with a fun sensory activity to play indoors? 

This isn’t about loading up your already busy life with more to-dos. Its about adding focus and intention to what you are already doing. 

This exercise and focus are about tuning in and giving yourself an anchor point to come home to so over the course of a day, week, month and year you are building a life you want to live.

Remember what’s important

My final thoughts on how to raise great kids: a close friend’s Mum is in the final stages of her life. Unfortunately, we’re all ending up there and when you do, I hope you can say I lived the life I wanted to live. I gave my best to the people I loved most, and I had the courage to do it my way. Your life will be the legacy your child will give to their children so why not give them the best by living and being your best. Be unapologetically yourself, love and celebrate who you are and enjoy the beautiful family and home you’re creating. Mumma you are the heart of the home and who you are is already more than enough 

Oh, if you need a little more inspiration? check out these 40 best parenting quotes

PS: If you want to read my list click here

From little things, big things grow

AKA Urban Mamma

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